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A SUNUNET INC Production
-  2002 All Rights Reserved  -
TONTON  ALI'S  JOKES
www.CLUBSN.com  -
A SUNUNET INC Production
-  2002 All Rights Reserved  -
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YO MAMA ...

Here is a compilation of some of the best "Yo Mama" jokes.  Clean and edited for your reading pleasure.

- Yo Mama is so ugly even Freddy Krueger has nightmares of her.

- Your mom is so stupid, she thought manual labor was the president of Mexico.

- Your mom is so stupid, she thought Victoria's Secret was a rumor.

- Yo Mama is so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

- YoMama is so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

- YoMama is so old ... her birth-certificate expired!

- YoMama got so many teeth missing it looks like her tounge is in jail."

- YoMama is so stupid if she spoke her mind she'd be speechless.

- YoMama is so ugly she made an onion cry.

- YoMama is so stupid ... when the compuater said 'Press any key to continue' she couldn't find the  "Any" key.

- YoMama is so stupid when she saw a 'Wrong Way' sign in her rearview mirror she turned around.

- YoMama is so nasty I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.



10 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR ROOMMATE

1. Always flush the toilet three times.

2. Shave one eyebrow.

3. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.

4. Array thirteen tooth brushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.

5. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.

6. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).

7. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.

8. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.

9. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.

10. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.



THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HUMMMMMMMM.....

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of ?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?



WHAT SHOULD HAVE REALLY HAPPENED IN THE YEAR 2000

Bob Dole's age erroneously listed with only two digits.

Software engineers point out that since computers think it's almost 1900, we technically have to "party like it's 1899"
(which, frankly, doesn't seem like that much fun).

Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe personnel shortage at McDonald's restaurants.



LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MIN

English: He's cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Ding?

English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni

English: Your price is too high!!!
Chinese: No Bai Nut Ding!!!

English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?

English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese: Ai Bang Mai Ni

English: It's very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: They have arrived
Chinese: Hai Dei Kum

English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu

English: You know lyrics to the Macarena?
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Stay out of sight
Chinese: Lei Lo

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?

English: He's cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Ding?

English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni

English: Your price is too high!!!
Chinese: No Bai Nut Ding!!!

English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?

English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese: Ai Bang Mai Ni

English: It's very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: They have arrived
Chinese: Hai Dei Kum

English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu

English: You know lyrics to the Macarena?
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Stay out of sight
Chinese: Lei Lo

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?



PIZZA ORDERING

- If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering.  Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

- Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

- Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

- Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

- Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

- Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

- Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

- Change your accent every three seconds.

- Ask what the order taker is wearing.

- Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

- Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

- Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

- Imitate the order taker's voice.

- Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

- Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

- Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

- When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

- When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

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Pages
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A SUNUNET INC Production
-  2002 All Rights Reserved  -
__________________________________________________

Pages
1  2  3  4  5  6